


Just Different

by Tesseractingrey



Series: Forgiveness [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, Mid 5x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24383275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tesseractingrey/pseuds/Tesseractingrey
Summary: Daisy isn’t ready to forgive Fitz yet, but she wants to.  Eventually.  Once the urge to quake him into a wall again whenever she sees him fades, probably.  (Mid 5x22)Sort of a sequel to my fic “Surviving It,” but this will make sense even if you haven’t read it.
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Series: Forgiveness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864072
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Just Different

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my best not to downplay Daisy’s pain here, but I don’t know if I fully succeeded. I’d like to believe she got to have a conversation like this with Fitz before he died, and I think her conversation with Deke could’ve given her the motivation to try and talk to him. I miss their friendship and they don’t exactly deal with the issue directly in canon, so I just decided to interpret it like this. I don’t want to make it look like Daisy didn’t suffer that much or that Fitz isn’t that sorry; I just wanted to write something vaguely hopeful about Daisy and Fitz before he dies, because I really believe that she can (and does) forgive him eventually.

As Mack outlined their plan for handling Talbot, Daisy listened to what she had to do, but then spaced out a bit. She couldn’t help thinking back to what Deke had said to her earlier. _Your trust...it just seemed too strong to break._ But it had. _If you really wanna lead one day, then you gotta fix that._ That’s why she had handed command off to Mack: she didn’t think she could fix it. He was the one who could hold the team together, to make sure they were doing the right thing. She wasn’t that person; she was the one who couldn’t keep her emotions out of her decisions.

But maybe, even though she wasn’t meant to lead the team, maybe she should still try her best to repair the broken trust between them. She missed her team; her _family._ In her speech to the team, she had already tried to begin rebuilding things with Elena by telling her that she had been right. She missed the relationship they used to have, bonding over their shared experience of being inhuman. With time, they could probably get back there. 

There was another team member, though, whose relationship with her was far more broken, trust fully shattered. As Mack wrapped things up and dismissed them, Daisy took a deep breath, bracing herself for what she knew she had to do. She walked over to Fitz, rubbing the edge of one of her gauntlets, trying to calm her nerves. 

“Hey.” He stopped walking, looking up at her in surprise. “Can...can we talk? Quickly, before we have to go off and save the world, and all.” 

“S-sure? Do you wanna…” Fitz trailed off, gesturing to a corner where they would have slightly more privacy. Daisy nodded, and they walked over. He seemed unsure of what to do with himself. He fidgeted with his sleeves, worried about making her uncomfortable, but also scared that she might want to yell at him again. 

“I’m not sure what’s going to happen today and I can’t forgive you for what you did to me, but Deke said something to me earlier that got me thinking—” At first, Fitz seemed to withdraw into himself, cringing, bracing himself for what he assumed would be more of her yelling at him, knowing he deserved it. But then she mentioned Deke and he interjected without thinking, too surprised to stop himself. 

“ _Deke_? He said something _thought-provoking_?” With this, the tension between them seemed to break — still there, but not quite so suffocating now — and Daisy couldn’t help but laugh slightly at Fitz’s clear disbelief over the fact that his grandson could ever say something helpful. 

“Yeah, I know right? He was going on and on about being a squirrel, which was weird, and the books he was reading, but then he told me that he had been impressed with how much the team had trusted each other when we first met him, and he said if I wanted to lead I needed to rebuild that trust, and I can’t, so I handed command off to Mack, but I miss the way the team used to be, so I still feel like I need to try and fix things a bit, but—” She stopped her rambling for a second, taking a breath to calm herself down a bit. “I miss you, kind of a lot, but I-I just can’t forgive you.” 

Fitz didn’t really know how to react to this. He knew she couldn't forgive him, but he didn’t blame her for that. He couldn’t regret doing it because he knew that logically, it had to be done. But he also couldn’t forgive himself for how it had to be done, for hurting Daisy. She had always been one of his closest friends, and he hated that he’d ruined that. But Daisy wasn’t done yet. 

“A couple days ago, May talked to me about what happened, and she made me realize that logically, I actually do get why you did it. There wasn’t any other way to close the rift and deep down, I kind of knew something like this would end up happening — May reminded me that when we were coming back from the future, I tried to stay back because I said I knew there would be a time when we had to remove my inhuman control device, and I wanted to prevent that from ever happening so I couldn’t destroy the world. I wish I could, but I can’t say for sure that in the moment I ever could’ve recognized that, because I was so emotional and so scared of destroying the world. That’s why I can’t lead, right? I can’t keep my emotions out of hard decisions and I don’t always make the right decisions with them.” Daisy took a deep breath, pausing for a second. “It really is insane that a conversation with _Deke_ of all people is what made me realize this.” 

“I guess he does have some genes from me and Jemma, so he might be a _little_ smart.” At this, Fitz made a face, clearly not happy to admit anything positive about Deke. Daisy almost smiled at this, amused by the strange relationship Fitz had with his grandson, but then Fitz kept talking. 

“You know being emotional isn’t a bad thing though, right? I don’t blame you for being emotional; it’s a perfectly rational reaction to everything that was going on. I blame _myself_ for making you feel all of this. It isn’t a bad thing: it might not make you a good Director, but it makes you a good _person_ , and, I think, also a good battlefield leader. I think Coulson is right that you can lead, but I think you’d be better off leading a field team and inspiring people to fight than leading SHIELD convincing people to do their paperwork. It’s okay to be emotional; you don’t have to be Mack to be a good leader. You’re just meant to lead in different ways.” At this, Daisy smiled, Fitz’s confidence in her abilities somehow making her feel a bit later. She was still partially fighting the urge to flinch and get as far away from him as possible, and yet somehow, his words had still helped soothe the little part of her that had been whispering that she was just _not enough_ to live up to what Coulson expected. 

“Just different, and there’s nothing wrong with that, right?” Recognizing his words from what felt like a lifetime ago, Fitz felt himself begin to get a little choked up under the weight of everything they’d lost between them. 

“Yeah.” He managed, smiling back at her a little, not sure how to put into words everything that he was feeling. He was about to apologize again to her for ruining what they had, when Daisy started speaking again. 

“A small part of me is really happy to have my powers back, actually — I was so scared to have them back then, but now, it doesn’t feel right to fight without them. It was sort of like...like a piece of me was missing. So I do get it, okay? I’m not actually here to yell at you or ask for apologies. I’m not asking you to apologize for doing it, because logically, I really do get it. But I’m also not here to forgive you. I’m not ready for that and I know it’s kinda irrational to logically get it and yet still have the distinct urge to quake you into a wall again, but that’s just how it is.” At this, Fitz opened his mouth to respond. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to apologize, despite her telling him not to, or ask her if he could hug her since she looked so fragile right now, but was also probably still scared of being touched by him. But before he could decide on what to say, Daisy held up a hand to silence him, needing to get through everything she wanted to say before he responded. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I can’t forgive you yet, but I will be able to do it eventually. I’m not ready yet, but I want to fix things between us. I miss you, Fitz. I’m restraining the urge to quake you into that wall, but I miss you too.” 

“I appreciate you restraining yourself,” he said letting out a bit of a laugh, his mouth twisting into a half smile. “I really am sorry for how it had to happen, though. I’m really sorry for hurting you. I-I really miss you too, and I’m really sorry for ruining our relationship. You don’t have to forgive me, you know. I don’t know if I deserve that.” 

Daisy pressed her lips together, repressing the slightly insane urge to laugh. She couldn’t help but think back to all the times when Jemma had complained to her about Fitz being _too_ nice to her. After this, she needed to go find Jemma and apologize for laughing at what she had thought was an insane complaint and for telling Jemma someone couldn’t be too nice. 

“Fitz, I just told you I _want_ to get to the place where I can forgive you, even if I’m not ready yet. I don’t care if you think you deserve it or not, because I fully plan on forgiving you one day so that we can be friends again. I don’t think things can ever fully go back to how they used to be, but—” 

“It’ll just be different, right?” 

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

As she walked over to the Quinjet to join Coulson, Daisy couldn’t help but smile to herself. Part of her was still aching from what Fitz had done to her and was scared to ever trust him again, but that conversation with him had cemented what May had told her: she was going to be okay. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, but thinking back on everything they’d been through together — the missions, the conversations about Jemma, the movie nights — she _knew_ she would get there. Daisy knew that deep down, despite his capacity to hurt her, he was a good person who still deeply cared about her. Trust might break, but with people like Fitz, it was worth rebuilding, no matter how long it might take.


End file.
